Not every guy sees themselves walking down the aisle and this isn't always because of his financial situation. We’ve been together for 5 yrs it breaks my hurt whenever i think about him cuz he still has me on his social medias. Affairs/infidelity/cheating – these problems definitely require help. While the economy can be to blame in some instances, if he is being fired or quitting his jobs regularly, this can be a sign of unreliability and lack of responsibility. He told me that he cannot make me his official gf because of the situation he’s currently in. I think it is important for that clean split, no hard feelings, or fights. You don’t own it. He didn’t say anything. From not saving enough to not agreeing on what to spend, dating a guy with financial problems might be a deal breaker for you. We list for you some of the common and not-so-obvious financial red flags—actions, habits and behaviour patterns—that can hint at bigger problems you may or may not be able to rectify in the future. He was a great guy before his financial problems. close. We are both in this way because he is helping me struggle my way through nursing school. By the way, he told me earlier in this conversation that I wasn’t imagining our connection we had). Losing a job once can happen, losing multiple jobs is another problem. Especially if you are the first person dating a widower after his loss, he might share a lot of his feeling of guilt. Ongoing financial problems can be a sign your partner isn't prioritizing you, Tessina says, and that they lack self control. The flip side of the same coin is what I call Poor-Sucker Syndrome (I wrote a book onit), it’s when men try to hide from issues with self-esteem getting into debt in hopes of achieving status and group belonging. I have such strong feelings it is hard to move “forward” and away from him. Sometimes it can be from unexpected medical expenses or divorce. Which is the only thing I can do really that might actually make him feel better. Many of them shut down during the process. I became so used on being alone and by myself. He’s been having problems finding a new job, and he did not get unemployment because he applied too late. Whether it's on some new technology, hanging out with the guys or going out to a nice dinner, he spends money without a second thought. The # 1 fear that most men have is failure/ performance /life related. Men are constantly fed with impressions that lure them into thinking that self-sabotaging behaviors will reward them and should be pursued. He makes promises to repay the money but never does? I can see his restlessness to make himself better, but his coldness and uncaring ways pushes me away from him all the more. Want more. It’s so easy to give and give and put the other person first but, you are worth being first in your own life. Then the “economy” happened and his clients could not afford his services. The very next day I saw him, and he was a completely different person. Major thankies for the article.Really thank you! And I spoke harshly to him. I was a bit frustrated because I feel rejected… so I just replied “ok” and haven’t heard from him since… it’s been about 6 days… These dating alerts are intended to help you put a finger to the problem and take remedial measures to secure your finances and relationship. . . My boyfriend has gotten really distant after going on a week vacation together? Friends and girlfriends can’t reach me. And most of the time he says maybe… then he says he can’t. I’m interested in developing a serious relationship (with the right person) and I want to avoid falling into the trap of being taken for granted by someone who isn’t willing to, or incapable of, putting in a sincere effort. Move on or become the breadwinner? Instead, come up with a budget and financial plan together that will help reduce the debt. Then, after some time, we had some misunderstandings. He’s an ex-Marine and has the mentality of a Marine and has said that he was taught to stand on his own two feet. If your heart is saying to go, then go and don’t look back. If a person treated you badly or couldn’t commit, that’s one thing. What do you need, what do you want? Things were great in the beginning, we would always go out on dates, talk on the phone. 5. If his lack of employment is due to the type of work he does or a recession, you need to express your concerns to him. I am moving on, but do continue to hope that things improve and that he might come back to me one day. He has lost many clients and income. He explained them in a way that gave me the impression he had learned from these and had grown wiser in the ways of money. I would happily date a man who makes less money than me. Just last week, I found a job that was good pay, and I thought he would be interested in, so I text it to him. . 3. Hell, she may even start seeing other people. Reading this helped a lot! Have a stern talk with him. It’s an easy trap to fall into, considering that everything in our society and media encourages this type of thinking. All the fun and smiles were gone, and things have not been the same since (6 weeks now). This can be a concern for a number of reasons, one of which is he might think the world owes him something that he doesn't have to work for or pay back. Do you have any advice as to what is wrong? 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